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1-Page Summary of The Confidence Code
Overview
Why are some women less confident than men? Why do high-achieving women doubt their success? How can they be more confident? Authors Katty Kay and Claire Shipman interviewed hundreds of people to find out what makes a woman successful. They found that confidence is the key ingredient for success, but many women lack it. Women tend to worry too much about everything because they think too much about things before taking action. However, taking action is critical in developing confidence by rewiring your brain with new thoughts and experiences. Confidence is partly hardwired into us as boys or girls, but we can change our mindset at any time by changing our actions and thinking patterns. Women have less confidence than men because hormones play a role in shaping our brains differently from males’. Social expectations also influence how we feel about ourselves based on gender roles that were set up centuries ago when most professions were dominated by male workers who usually had higher positions than female workers did back then. Gender bias has been another reason why many females don’t feel very confident in themselves, since there’s still an assumption among some people today that females aren’t capable of doing certain jobs as well as males might. To build more self-confidence, you need to take risks while avoiding failure, reframe negative thoughts into positive ones, think positively about other people’s needs instead of focusing solely on yourself, and focus on the benefits your work will bring to others rather than just basking in glory for yourself alone.
Working Hard Is Not Enough
Even women who appear to be confident have doubts about themselves. Most women tend to think too much, dwell on mistakes, go into pleasing mode, attribute their success to luck and feel like imposters.
Christine Lagarde, who runs the International Monetary Fund, said that she was over prepared with Angela Merkel, Germany’s chancellor. They both felt they had to understand everything completely from every angle and not make a mistake.
Women have less confidence than men. They talk less when in a group of mostly men, and they worry more about failing at something because they don’t feel as confident as the men do. They also earn lower salaries because of this lack of confidence. The gap is even bigger than most people realize; research shows that it’s not competence that matters, but confidence for success. Confidence is also key to being happy and feeling fulfilled in life overall.
Do More and Think Less
Confidence is not about self-esteem or feeling good about yourself. It’s also different from optimism, self-compassion, and self-efficacy. Confidence is the belief that you can get what you want by taking action. To test this theory, a neuroscientist put rats in a box where they had to make decisions on which way to turn for food rewards. The rats who were confident waited for their reward; those who weren’t gave up and lost all the time they had already invested in waiting.
Mastery comes from mastering a skill. It doesn’t mean trying to be perfect; it means enjoying challenges and not letting obstacles stop you. The more you master one thing, the more confident you become in your ability to try another challenge. Soon, mastery becomes a positive snowball effect: You master one thing, gain confidence, then move on to something else with greater ease.
If you believe in yourself and your abilities, then you will be able to get things done. Doubts and worries prevent people from doing what they need to do.
